In my family, it’s neither accepted nor allowed for a girl to not be a virgin before marriage. I don’t know how intercourse works, and I’m afraid of it. I feel that the hymen itself is shackling and imprisoning me.
I learned one day that my neighbor whom I used to play with was getting married. She was almost 16 years old. “I’ve got something that my husband will take from me and throw away tomorrow morning,” she said.
Unlike most girls, I never had any expectations or dreams about my wedding night. Nor did I exert any effort to think of what would happen once I was alone with my husband—whom I hardly knew—for the first time.