I had exams during Ramadan,
And I had to fast so no one would bother me.
I normally have low-blood pressure,
And on top of that,
It was hot and I was fasting,
And I had an exam.
It was a bad day.

I wanted to be a boy when I was young.
My brother and our cousins would be allowed to play in the garden behind our house until late, but not me.
They used to hop the fence, play hooky, then come back and lie about it, make up stories.
As for me, if I even so much as tried to call my cousin at night they’d tell me
“Why? Aren’t you going to see each other tomorrow morning?

We were in the North Coast at the time.
I was not allowed to go swimming,
Because I was wearing a pad, and it was going to get wet,
Making it known that I got my period.
womanhood, period

“My daughter is manly”
The phrase my mother has always repeated with pride,
Ever since I was a child.
I had one brother.
We were like twins.
I was always the impulsive one who’d get into fights,
And defend my brother.
Instead of scolding me,
My mother found pride in it.

When I was young,
I used to love finding out about new things before the time was right.
We were at my grandmother’s one time,
When I saw blood on my aunt’s pyjamas.
I was surprised.
I ran to my mother in tears and told her what I saw.

I got my period when I was 11.
Mama was understanding.
I have older sisters so I knew it was going to happen.
The first time I got it,
I told my sister and she lent me a pad,
And mama was happy when she found out that I got it early.

Mama forgot to explain periods to me.
The first time I got my period I was thirteen.
All the information I had about periods was from my friends.
womanhood, period

I got my period in the 7th grade.
I saw blood stains on my clothes when I was at my grandmother’s.
I ran to the bathroom to wash them off.
I was scared that I had injured myself,
And that mama might beat me up, or tell baba and then he’d beat me up.
womanhood, period, parents

I’m passive, weak, uneducated.
Veiled from head to toe.
One of his four wives.
Work in the kitchen all day.
And spread my legs wide at night.
That’s what you think, right?

It was me and two or three other girls on the bus.
Two of them were veiled and one was wearing the niqab.
We were all standing in a corner.
We were surrounded by men.
There was a man sitting with his legs wide open and laughing loudly.
It was as if he was the owner of the bus and could act any way he liked.