I first found out about periods when I was around 11 years old.
We were in Saudi Arabia when I started noticing mama’s Always pads.
I didn’t understand what they were,
Or what they were used for.
All I knew was that they were mama’s,
And that she used them,
But I didn’t understand why.
Then she told me,
But I didn’t understand.

She tried to explain to me,
That this was something that happened to all girls.
She started chatting with her neighbor in front of me.
She used to give me a stern look,
And tell me,
“Go inside,”
When they’d talk about something related to women.
But then it was okay for me to be there.
I started talking with my friend at school about this.
We’d tell each other how we didn’t want it to happen to us,
And that we didn’t want to bleed or grow up.

When I was 12 years old,
My back and waist were sore for a few days.
Neither mama nor I knew the reason,
Until one morning, I found blood in my underwear.
We were in Saudi Arabia at the time,
So I had no relatives there.
Mama wasn’t the easy-going kind,
And we weren’t really friends.
I was scared of her,
So I stayed up all night feeling as if I had committed a crime,
Or done something wrong.

I summoned up my courage,
And told mama at night,
After a lot of thinking,
And feeling seriously embarrassed.
I convinced myself that I had to tell her,
Because what if the blood was a sign of something serious?
“Mama, I found something red in my underwear today,
I don’t know what it is.
I didn’t get injured or anything,” I told her.
I was scared of her,
But all she said was,
“You must have gotten your period.”
That was it.
“No. How could it be?
Aren’t I still too young?” I asked her.
“It’s normal.
Some get it at an even younger age.
Let’s see how many days it’ll last.
If there’s still blood coming out,
Wear a pad,” she said calmly.

I wanted to disappear then and there,
Because I still felt embarrassed.
I didn’t want her to tell baba.
He couldn’t know such a thing.
But she told him.
He didn’t really react,
So I started acting normally.
But I still thought it was really embarrassing,
For anyone to know that I was on my period.
Even though mama used to intimidate me sometimes,
And we weren’t friends,
I now, at the age of 35,
Realize how understanding and nice she was with me when this happened.