“I used to say that too, you know, before I got married.
The man does everything.
You fake it most of the time.
You’re not missing much.
It’s really not enjoyable.
No kind of pleasure whatsoever.
He’ll make weird faces and you’ll lie there doing nothing.
It only takes 3 minutes.
You could put a pillow in your place and he wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

Of course, dear, it’s your right.
You’re all grown up after all.
I don’t know how you’ve managed to stay patient for so long.
Let’s get you married.
Tell me about the guys you work with.
Are none of them suitable?

I get that when girls get older, they start to have needs and desires.
We’ll get you married.
The next step after that is to have children.
What? You’re afraid of commitment?
You want to whore around, then?
That’s what you get when you raise a girl!

Desires? What are you talking about Miss Sarah?
Don’t tell your mother.
Oh my goodness! God protect us!
Were you circumcised, Miss Sarah?
That’s why!
My niece wasn’t circumcised when she was a girl, and we had her circumcised when she grew up.
Why are you yelling at me, all red in the face?
It’s just not right, Miss Sarah.
Okay, calm down. Don’t get circumcised, then.
Even though it would be good for you.
Pray instead.
Recite what you know from the Quran.
Close your eyes and recite anything you have memorized.
Tell you what, write down the Fatiha, and if I’m at home, even if I’m doing the laundry, call me and I’ll whisper Allahu akbar in your ear.

Oh my goodness! Oh my Lord!”

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