I’m a country girl, unfortunately.
I am 27 years old.
I’ve been getting beaten up and humiliated since I was 3 years old.
I remember every blow, and the pain.
I still have scars on my body,
That serve as a constant reminder.

I’m really upset, and I wish I could talk to someone.
Although I have so many friends, I always feel lonely and that no one will understand me.
I’ve thought a lot about going to a psychiatrist, but I’m afraid.
So I started talking to myself and replying as if I’m another person until I became fed up.
mental health, depression

Something hurts.
Something has made me stop feeling.
I even stopped doing the things I loved most.
Now, I do things just because I have to.
mental health, depression

It started when I was in 8th grade after my third sister was born, and from the very first moment, I was forced to be her mother.
She even used to sleep in my arms when I had school early the next morning.
Every so often, I’d wake up to her crying
depression, mental health

I get bullied and insulted.
It happened that once the religion teacher performed on me the Islamic practice of healing in front of my classmates.
They had planned to do it because they saw that my being different was something abnormal.
I couldn’t do anything.
When I tried to speak up, they just said that it was a joke.
social stigma, depression, school, bullying

I feel like my brain is clogged up.
My limbs are heavy and every little action requires a great deal of effort.
My muscles are tired and shaky.
They're so weak.
mental health, depression

The first time he hit me was the day I found out I was pregnant.
He picked a fight with me when his friend and his wife were having dinner with us,
And I fried the mombar (a kind of sausage dish),
Before the chicken breasts.
He pulled me by my hair,
And dragged me to the stove,
And threatened to set me on fire to get rid of me.

I didn’t know that this was depression. No one knew.
Months passed and all I wanted was to stop crying.
What was going on?
6 months passed. I wanted the world to end.
I tried to commit suicide more than once.
mental health, depression

I can sleep for very long hours
Or become sluggish and eat all day.
Then suddenly, I can sleep very little hours, barely eat anything, finish a lot of work in such a short time, and have tremendous energy to move around.
mental health, depression, social stigma

I went to my shrink and told her there was a hole inside of me.
Prescribe something, anything. I'm not happy feeling this way.
It's like someone plunged their hand deep inside, took something, and left.