“You’re a man, don’t cry!”
I was told when I was younger.
“You’re a man” was a punishment to me,
Because it imposed on me a certain lifestyle.
Things I had to do, and other things I couldn’t do.
For instance, when I was young, I loved watching ballet videos.
I loved imitating the ballerinas,
Who were usually female,
Because some numbers didn’t have male dancers.
When I was in the first grade, these dances would show after the Friday prayer.
To them, imitating the dancers was a huge deal.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re a man; you can’t do this!”
I loved playing hopscotch when I was young.
But this too, was a girls’ game.
I used to cry a lot,
“You’re a man, don’t cry!” my parents would scold me.
I hated this sentence so much when I was young.
Until one day I stopped crying, completely!
Under any condition or circumstance,
I wouldn’t cry.
When I’m under a lot of psychological pressure,
I might shout or feel angry.
But cry? That never happens.