My parents separated when I was young.
My father said something to me,
That stayed with me forever.
I was 7 or 8 years old at the time.
“I wouldn’t care at all if you died,” he said to me.
“I’ll replace you right away with another child.
But what would you do if I died?
You’ll never have another father.”

I haven’t seen him since then.
But what he said to me,
Is the reason behind my happiness.
I was a kid back then,
So I cried at first.
But it made me believe that I’m everything I need.
That I’m my only support system.
At the time when he said it,
I thought that my father would always have my back,
That he was everything to me,
Especially since I was young and an only child.
What he said broke me.

I tried to find replace him with a lot of other men,
Since that’s in the nature of women.
I believed by default that men were needed to support and protect women.

I tried to replace him with my uncle,
But he let me down.
Then I tried to replace him with my grandfather,
Who passed away right before I gave birth.
That also broke me at the time.
Then I started to think,
What is it that I really want?
Where do I want to be?

That’s when I came up with the idea for my project from the hospital bed.
I wanted to be there for anyone who’s lost,
Just like I was lost during my childhood,
Because of what my father did to me.

You truly do not need anyone but yourself.
What did he do?
He transferred me from an international to a governmental school with a letter from the government.
He transferred me to three schools,
Using the same letter,
In three consecutive weeks.
Imagine going to three different schools in this timeframe,
And having to cope with these sudden changes.
Some kids would chant,
“We don’t want a new girl!”
It was a strange experience,
But it’s the reason I was the top student.
I don’t think I would’ve been that good at school if this hadn’t happened.
I wouldn’t have received a scholarship to the AUC if it weren’t for all this.
I was the top student there as well,
Which is how I got my job at PNG,
And that was the reason I started my project.

I’m grateful for all of those things,
And to my mother and grandmother constantly telling me,
“You’re your own support system.
We’re not your support system.
No one in the world is.
As long as God is by your side,
And as long as you’re focused on your goal,
You’ll never need anyone.”