I’m a 30 year old married woman.
I love my husband.
I live an ordinary life.
But I’m angry and annoyed.
You know why?

This story started about twenty years ago.
I loved playing football when I was ten years old.
My brother, who was three years younger than me,
Would play football with the boys next door in the garden every day.
I would beg my mother to let me play with them.
And the answer was always,
“You’re a girl. I can’t just leave you in the streets alone.”
To which I always replied,
“But they’re playing in the garden, not the streets.
Besides, I wouldn’t be alone.
My brother and the other boys would be there.”
“It’s inappropriate for a girl to play football.
What will the neighbors say?
Forget it.
I’ll teach you how to cook instead.”

Time went by and I forgot all about football.
I hid my jealousy.
Yes, jealousy.
How come my brother gets to do everything he loves?
While I’m forced to learn how to cook?
I hate cooking.

I’m sure you’re familiar with society’s famous saying,
“Because you’re a girl, and he’s a man.”
He’s still a child, though—both literally and figuratively.

When we were in highschool,
My brother and all the other boys fell in love and had girlfriends.
I told my mother one time—and that was the only time—that a boy had a crush on me.
She got worked up and said to me,
“Your brother can have all the girlfriends he wants.
He doesn’t need to worry about his reputation like you do.
You’re a girl, and you must have a good reputation.
Don’t you dare flirt with any boy.
Otherwise, you’ll never get married.”

It was unbelievable!
Who did they think he got into relationships with?
Female sheep?
Aren’t they all girls like me?
Don’t they have reputations to worry about like I do?

I had an arranged marriage.
I love my husband.
Or to be more precise,
I loved him with time.
Why am I angry and annoyed, you ask?
Because I thought I would finally be free.
And that the person I’d marry would try to make up for the harsh life I lived.
But marriage only added more restrictions.
And made me feel even more helpless.
I was never supposed to get angry.
Whereas he would throw a tantrum whenever he was in a bad mood.
I had to stay quiet and let it pass.
I could never stay out late,
But it was okay for him to come home at three in the morning.
Because he surely didn’t notice the time.
And the list goes on.

I’m not the only woman who’s lived this kind of life.
Millions of Egyptian women go through the same thing.
They’re tired of the restrictions and the things they shouldn’t do.
Those things are not haram, inappropriate, or unhealthy.
They’re tired of being helpless.
They’re tired of having to sacrifice their lives for the sake of their marriage.
They’re tired of the sexism and discrimination.
They’re tired of this patriarchal society that is controlled by the male ego.

This story doesn’t have an ending.
It’s the chronicles of an Egyptian woman’s life.
The “virtuous” housewife.
I’m writing this behind my husband, family, and friends’ backs.
They’d think I lost my mind or was exaggerating if they read this.
The question is,
Is there a solution for this problem?
Do you know an Egyptian, virtuous housewife,
Who managed to free herself of these restrictions,
While keeping her family intact and remaining virtuous?
I beg you to please put us in touch.