A friend of my husband’s who was part of his group of friends,
Became a really close friend of mine.
We started sharing our problems and venting to each other.
One time, she offered me a job at her new company.
In the beginning, I was really scared that my husband would refuse.
I was also scared that I wouldn’t know how to handle it,
Because I’ve never had a job before.
Also, life in Cairo isn’t easy.

Anyway, I decided to give work a chance.
To begin a new life full of hope and optimism.
Transportation was a problem.
I used to take four different means of transportation,
Sometimes five, to get to work.
All of my salary was spent on transportation.
I used to get myself breakfast with what was left of it.
But I was so happy leaving the house in the morning.
I felt free, like I could breathe.
As opposed to the prison I was living in.

In spite of the difficulties and the obstacles I used to face,
I was determined to keep on working.
There were many times when I was going back home,
When I had to wait in an isolated area,
Waiting to find any means of transportation that would drop me off in a place where I could hail a cab.
Sometimes I’d wait for half an hour, or even longer, in a dimly-lit area.
Something could’ve happened to me, and no one would’ve known.

There were many times when I considered staying at home.
Work wasn’t rewarding, the salary wasn’t enough, and transportation was difficult.
But being at home all the time made me sick of it.
I also thought that maybe this could motivate my husband to look for work,
Or find anything to do instead of staying at home.

Around two and a half months later he told me,
“You must stay at home, because I’m about to start work,
So you must stay with the kid.”
I refused, of course, and told him, “I’ll send him to a daycare center.”
“Fine, research daycare centers, and we’ll see which one is the best.”

So after I asked around for four days,
And went to take a look at the different daycare centers,
And researched them fully, he told me,
“No, I’m not sending him to a daycare center.
You’ll stay at home and look after him!”
It reached a point where I offered to pay for the kid’s daycare center from my salary.
“I feel like my job has made my personality stronger.
It’s helped me stand up for myself,” I said.
He got scared when I told him that.
He was used to me agreeing to everything he said.
This was the first time I told him no.

He called my father:
“It’s her turn to stay at home and look after her son.”
My father called me.
“Listen, your husband called me,
He told me that you must stay at home so that he can start his new job.
The daycare center costs a lot, and your salary isn’t enough.”

Later, my aunt called me saying, “You stay out late.
Who’s more important? Your work or your husband?
Aren’t we talking about your husband here? The one you fell in love with?”
I started crying,
So having a job means I don’t love him?

“Don’t go to work!” he ordered me the following day.
I insisted that I go.
He called me up and said, “If you’re not home by one o’clock,
Don’t come back at all.
Go to your father’s.”
I felt like I was being suffocated.

My colleagues at work were supportive:
“You’re ambitious and clever. Don’t leave,” they told me.
My boss encouraged me and told me,
“Why accept this life when it’s constantly making you unhappy?”
I was so scared of separation and of going back to my parents’.
I handed over my work and was home by one.
I felt as if I was back in prison.
I stopped going to work.

I was back to living with someone who bossed me around:
“This is my house. You stay on my terms and do what I want!”
I felt extremely oppressed and degraded.