My family was relatively understanding.
When I was young,
Baba used to always tell people,
“She’s a woman now.”
It made me happy that he saw me that way,
Even though I was still young.
That line used to boost my confidence,
And I knew I could handle anything,
Even if I hadn’t hit puberty,
As opposed to our society,
Which associates puberty with maturity.

Mama and my older sister told me that all girls get it,
But at different times.
“Don’t worry if it’s late.”
And mama always said,
“Every woman is different.”
This reassured me,
When one time,
My friends were discussing who had gotten it and who hadn’t yet,
And I was one of the girls who still hadn’t gotten hers.

They made sure I always had a sanitary pad in my school backpack,
Even though I hadn’t gotten mine,
But they told me,
“So, you’re not taken by surprise if you get it at school.”

I got it for the first time during my exams in the 7th grade.
I found blood in my underwear when I woke up.
Mama was talking to my sister on the phone.
I went to the bathroom quietly.
I couldn’t tell if I was happy or sad,
But I was calm,
Because I knew what was going on.
Maybe I was a little happy,
That I was no longer one of the girls who hadn’t gotten it yet.

I went to the exam,
And I was in pain.
It was my first time to feel this kind of pain.
I had to bear it,
Because I couldn’t share what was happening with anyone around me.
What would I say anyway?
I’m a relatively quiet person in general.
There was also the added stress of “staining.”
I was scared that the Always pad would shift in place,
And make a mess.
I would answer some questions,
Then get up to check on my clothes.

I told mama,
And she was very happy.
She called my sister and grandma.
I thought to myself,
“Don’t you dare tell baba!”
But she told him of course.
My grandma offered me a different kind of support.
“Write down the dates,
And keep track of them.
It’s important to take care of your health,” she told me.
I didn’t understand what she meant by that,
Until I grew up and started reading more.
Now, there are mobile applications,
Designed solely to keep track of it,
Because our health as women is the most important thing.