It was a normal day.
I had just gotten back from university.
I was having lunch and watching TV when my aunt called.
The conversation started out normal enough, then it started to get annoying:
"How’s your love life?” she asked.
I forced a laugh.
The question embarrassed me.
She insisted that I was a romantic and that apparently my whole family were romantics.
"You know,” she began, “if you want to get married, I could bring you a lot of suitors to meet.”
“I know a good suitor for you,” she went on, “Someone who owns an apartment, works at the Smart Village, and he has everything! He even looks like Mustafa, hahahaha! And there’s another suitor; a fantastic doctor...”
I remained silent.
You see, Mustafa is my fiancé.
We just made it official.
We have been together for a while and we are in love.
But of course, once you start doing the right thing, people start giving you crap.
Ever since he proposed, my parents, especially my mother, have been acting extremely weird.
First of all, she thinks I’m abandoning her or something, although I won’t be getting married anytime soon.
She gets jealous of Mustafa and thinks that if I do not get married, that would be fine. It would be a good thing.
Our big family is very close, and since Mustafa and I got together, we became the topic of the year.
No one is leaving me alone.
Aunty held a big gathering once, and everyone was there.
“So, what are his flaws?” My uncle asked me in front of everyone else in the room.
I was in shock, but I laughed it off.
“Are you seriously asking me that?” I said.
It’s just unbelievable that because I know the guy and love him, he has to be bad!
It’s like he has to have some kind of major flaw or be hiding some horrible secret!
I bet if nobody knew we knew each other from before, they would adore him and say he’s the perfect man for me, and I would be a horrible girl if I rejected him!
One time mama called me.
Everything seemed fine, until she told me to remove my profile picture to protect my social image!
You see, I had just uploaded a new profile picture of Mustafa and I.
She told me to remove it!
She claimed that people would start talking about me!
Me: “What will they say? Mama, he is my fiancé, and we were out with a group of our friends. We weren’t alone!
Mama: “I don’t care, remove it! You don’t know how people talk!”
Me: “Am I doing anything wrong? Because I’m not!”
Mama started yelling at me.
Me: “Fine, okay!”
Why do we care more than anything else about what people think?
It’s not like religion tells us to care about these things.
And I don’t believe morality or ethics do either.
I still appreciate everything my parents are doing.
I am very grateful, and I love them very much.
I just wish they’d know that sometimes their words really hurt, even if it’s just the usual aimless crap.
The pressure they put me through regarding this issue kills me.
I’m not blinded by love.
I’m not stupid, and I’m not just emotional.
Choosing him was the most rational decision I’ve ever made
For reasons no one else but him and I can understand.
He's very far away now.
In another country.
I am counting down the days and the hours left until he comes back.
No words can describe what we feel for each other.
He’s been family to me when my family wasn’t there.
He’s been my best friend when my best friends didn’t care.
He is my everything.
He knows how to respect, understand, and support me.
He knows how to let me be me.
I miss him so much, and I am waiting for him to come back.
I love him, and I always will.