Today marks one year and a day without depression.
Disregarding two relapses.
Thank God anyway.

It all started with the fear. I was crying and trembling every day.
I thought it was because of my exams.
After my exams came insomnia.
I would go for 2 or 3 days without a wink of sleep.
Then I lost my appetite.
I would go for weeks with nothing but water.
And when I’d feel ready to faint, I would eat exactly one french fry.

I didn’t know that this was depression. No one knew.
Months passed and all I wanted was to stop crying.
What was going on?

6 months passed. I wanted the world to end.
I tried to commit suicide more than once.
I would fail every time or stop myself at the last minute.

When it all started, I decided to start praying because I didn’t use to pray.
I thought that would fix it. I didn’t miss a single prayer.
Then I started to read Quran every day.
It still didn’t get any better.
It helped me when I would think about committing suicide.
I would say to myself that God is capable of changing things.
But it didn’t help in any other way.

I just wanted things to come to an end.
The cardiologist told me there was no cure for me.
I felt that life was meaningless. Enough.
It was because of people who left me suddenly.
Love, friends, dreams.

I’m cured, but depression took my life away.
It took away things I can never get back.
Support is the only solution during that period.
And the supporter’s faith that you could get through it.

A depressed person won’t believe tomorrow will be better.
They often believe they won’t even make it to tomorrow.