It happened five years ago,
But I still think about it.
My eighteen year old niece was a newly-wed at the time.
She discovered she had a heart disease.

No one stayed by her side but me.
I was always with her.
I travelled with her for a year,
Because no one else could.
I was with her the whole time.

My daughter was pregnant at that time.
She needed me.
But I left her to take care of my niece.
My brother’s wife had just given birth,
And couldn’t leave her newborn.

My niece told me a lot of secrets.
When a person is ill,
They tend to be honest about things.
After she passed away,
Her mother treated me very badly.
My niece used to tell me things like,
“You’re staying with me even though your family needs you.
I love you.
My mom chose to stay with the baby.”
“You’re the eldest child, Sara.
You’re their rock,”
I would tell her.
I had to surgically remove my gallbladder at one point,
From all the sadness and stress.
When she passed away,
Her mother didn’t call to tell me.
I woke up that day with a heavy heart.
She called her sister,
“Come now. Sara died.”

She was everything to us.
I went to their house as soon as I found out.
“I don’t want her to observe the washing of the body,”
She said.
“How can she not? She has to be here,”
They made her go outside,
And I observed the washing.
“She’s her aunt. What’s wrong?”
“She’s the reason she died.”
I was speechless.

I attended the funeral prayer and the burial,
Then I left.
I should’ve gone to the funeral,
But I couldn’t.
I beat myself up for it.
I wish I hadn’t gone.
She kept talking about me behind my back.
How am I the reason she’s dead?
No one stayed by her side but me!

What did I do?
I stayed away for months.
I could’ve told her the things her daughter said about her.
But I didn’t.
Because she confided in me when she was sick.
She was just venting.

I still haven’t taken any action to this day.
I’m still being treated unfairly.
I dreamt of her twice since she died.
“Don’t be sad, auntie,”
She said to me.

Her siblings stopped talking to me.
But they contacted me four years later.
“Don’t be mad at us, auntie.”

I’m very sad and heartbroken.
I didn’t defend myself back then.
I’m taking my time.
I know I didn’t do anything wrong.
I’m content.