When I got married,
I thought I’d have to stay at home.
I got a job right after I graduated.
I thought being a working wife would take up all my time.
I didn’t want my daughter to come home and not find me there.
I wouldn’t be a good mother that way.
That’s what we all used to believe would happen.
Social pressure; marriage; work; motherhood
At the beginning, my husband treated me like a friend and wife.
He was like he was a friend, a brother, a husband, and a son to me. He was good to me.
Then, he changed.
He treated me like I was a man and only occasionally like a woman.
I thought he was cheating on me.
domestic violence, parents, work, marriage, divorce, romantic relationships
Around two and a half months later he told me,
“You must stay at home, because I’m about to start work,
So you must stay with the kid.”
I refused, of course, and told him, “I’ll send him to a daycare center.”
I don't regret anything;
I just had no idea what I was getting myself into:
the lies, the secrecy, the plotting,
the unethicality of the women of the family I was marrying into
and the blind denial of the men.
The first time he hit me was the day I found out I was pregnant.
He picked a fight with me when his friend and his wife were having dinner with us,
And I fried the mombar (a kind of sausage dish),
Before the chicken breasts.
He pulled me by my hair,
And dragged me to the stove,
And threatened to set me on fire to get rid of me.
My mother says that a girl’s degree and her career are more important than marriage.
They are her weapons.
That way, if she gets married and any trouble arises between her and her husband,
She’ll still have her career.
marriage, social pressure, engagement
I used to always watch her from the examination room window in the government hospital that I worked at.
Her name was Sokkara. She was young. She couldn’t be older than 13 years old.