I was 10 the first time I got it.
I was in the fifth grade then and it happened the night before an exam.
I thought “the monthly cycle” lasted an entire month,
And that I wouldn’t be able to play ever again.
I never wanted to grow up, even when I was younger.
So being forced to grow up was a nightmare.

I cried so fucking hard, and I prayed really hard for it to go away.
I kept my period from my mother for several years.
I used to find pads at home,
Which I’d then hide and use when on my period.
If I couldn’t find any pads, I’d used pieces of cloth.
They made me all sore and itchy.
It was a complete mess.
I was terrified of anyone finding out.

My relationship with my period is less complicated now.
I’m no longer embarrassed about it.
I don’t think it’s weird anymore, just annoying.
If there was a way to get rid of it without messing with my hormones, I would.

I don’t think of it as something sacred,
Or something gross.
Just a source of nuisance.
I first got it as a kid,
And the cramps were unbearable,
But it doesn’t stay as long anymore.
The flow isn’t as heavy.
The pain is a lot more bearable.
And I’m really thankful for that.