Ms. Hala once told us,
“Listen here, boys. I dismissed the girls because I know you have some questions.
Write your questions on a piece of paper, fold it, and give it to me. I’ll answer your questions.”
Aly: “What if some of us have no questions?”
Ms. Hala: “Don’t write anything. Collect the papers for me, Aly.”

Ms. Hala: “This questions reads: How do I stop masturbating?
Go ahead and laugh but everyone does it.
We all have emotions and instincts. That’s natural.
But do you know what you’re doing?
Your sperm is alive and you’re killing them.
You’re killing those souls with your bare hands.
Not to mention that masturbation makes you stupid.
Wait until you get married. Why are you in such a hurry?
Pray before going to sleep, play sports, and take cold showers.”

Aly: “Does God forgive those who have done it?”

Ms. Hala: “Of course. God forgives those who repent.”

I’m afraid of God.
What is He going to do?
I promised Him I wouldn’t do it again.
I’m weak.
I’m sure He knows that so He’ll forgive me.
But I can’t fool God.
He’ll forgive me if I wholeheartedly try.

I must stop what I’m doing.
If not for God, then for myself.
If I keep doing it, my acne will increase.
And I will never get a girlfriend.
And I’ll become stupid.

I feel lost and filthy.
I hid my boxers yesterday at the very bottom of the laundry basket so my mother wouldn’t see what’s on it.
Then I went to my private tutoring class.