After I left him,

I rented a place in a building that belonged to one of my friends,

Because my sister would call my ex to come over,

so I left her and swore I’d never set foot in her place again.

I went to my friend’s and stayed with her for about a week.

And then she gave me the room by the stairs.

At the time I worked as a maid and my salary was good.

Of course to everyone on her street,

I was a single woman by herself, so I must be easy.

I would hear scratching in the stairwell.

And it’d turn out to be someone who was trying to eavesdrop on me.

I never had anyone over, and my friend would stay at my place till midnight.

One time a big fight broke out below my balcony.

Shouts of “She lets men sleep over!”

And “The whore needs to leave; we’re not pimps around here.”

I went out onto the balcony and said, “Do any of you see a man in my arms?”

“Do you ever see me coming out here undressed?”

All of a sudden, the neighbourhood thug said, “Since no one saw anything, everyone should go back to their homes.”

He came up afterward to ask me if I needed anything.

“No,” I said, “but please don’t ever come to see me again.”

Why, oh why, did I say that?

After that he made sure everyone thought I wasn't a good woman.

I went to top up my credit at the phone company and found someone calling me an hour later.

“I paid a lot of money to get your number,” they said.

“Where did you get it?” I asked.

“The phone company where you topped up your credit,” he said.

I went out into the street, holding one flip flop in hand, and headed to the phone company.

I hit his highness, the owner of the phone company, over the head with the flip flop.

Of course, he turned out to be a sheikh.

After that I got scared and left the flat, returning to my sister.

“I’m on vacation from the shop and I’m going to your mother afterward,” she told me.

Instead of saying, “Of course, I’ll come and let you in.”

So, I took the kids and sat in the garden.

There were people who would harass me, and people who threw me money so I wouldn't be thought ill of.

My son Alaa is only 7, but you wouldn’t think it from the way he acts like a grown man.

When I lift up my abaya to cross the road, he’ll scold me and say, “Cover your legs, woman!”

We slept in the garden: me sitting cross-legged and leaning on the fence,

and the kids with their heads on my lap.

And I’d rest my head.

I can’t tell you how hard things were and how often it rained on me.

When I was in the garden,
A man offered me 1,500LE and a flat to become his.

All he got from me was, “May God punish you and may your car break down.”

There were some who would send me money with their drivers,

and some who didn't have time to cross the fence.

There were those who gave me bags, the ones who gave me meat, and the ones who threw

envelopes with money at me.

After 10 days, I was dying for a bath.

I would go to Al-Shabrawey with my kids so we could use the bathroom.

When the tea lady told me to come stay with her,

I didn't take her up on it.

I was scared she’d take advantage of me while I was under her roof.

But what was I going to do?

I didn't have enough to go home.

I learned to become rude to people

I felt strong the first time I left home, when I took the kids and went to my friend’s.

I hope I can keep on raising my kids.

I hope my son will grow up someday.

I wish I could work a good job.

I wish something big would happen and I’d be something.