Wait

I was 14 in middle school, my teenage years, and I thought with my emotions a lot.
I talked to the first person that I liked and got to know him.
The happiest moments of my life were the hours I’d steal before or after class to talk to him.

I was the youngest girl in my family,
And they always viewed me as young, so I was never given the space to speak freely.
I had a conservative upbringing, so I was excited to do something behind their backs.
To be able to realize my dream of having a life of my own,
To apply what I had learned from the old black and white films.
Girls at that age think only with their emotions.
They don’t have the capacity to think about the future rationally.
I didn’t think about how boys and girls would change afterwards.
I simply never took that into account.
We aren’t qualified to decide whether or not to continue the rest of our lives with someone at that age.

After a few years, once I started college and thought for a bit, I told myself:
“Okay, I’ve known this person, so I can’t leave him because there can’t be more than one man in my life, otherwise I’ll be a bad girl.
It’s settled, he’s the one I love, so he’ll be the one I marry. If I leave him, my reputation will be ruined.”

I didn’t have eyes for any other man.
No matter how many disagreements we had.
I had made up my mind.
Now, whenever someone my age asks me their opinion about a relationship, I tell them:
“Wait. Decide once you’ve grown up a bit.
Don’t limit yourself.
In a few years, you’ll be more mature, and your life will change so much.
When I was your age, I used to feel that I could do the impossible for love.
I thought I could do anything and everything and change the world,
But the opposite proved to be true.
The rational choice is so important, and you can’t make that choice unless you’re mature enough.
Give yourself some time.
My conservative upbringing restricted me and made me live in fear.
My life could’ve been different.
Your life can be different.”

x
Warning The stories on our story archive could contain potentially sensitive and/or triggering material. If a story causes you discomfort or pain, please remember to breathe and check in with yourself before continuing or stop reading completely if necessary.