I’m a country girl, unfortunately.
I am 27 years old.
I’ve been getting beaten up and humiliated since I was 3 years old.
I remember every blow, and the pain.
I still have scars on my body,
That serve as a constant reminder.

My father is a teacher,
And my mother is educated,
But they’re still ignorant.
I ask myself all the time: Why is this happening to me?
I never found an answer to my question,
Until I started receiving psychological help,
At a foundation that supports survivors of violence.

The therapist told me that I get beaten and tortured,
Simply because I’m not like them,
And I’m not following the path they have laid out for me.
My problem is that I have feelings and thoughts,
And I pursue my passion and seek answers to my questions;
Not live in the dark.

I’m the oldest of my siblings,
But they beat me up because they’re “men”.
I work and provide for myself,
But they still won’t leave me alone.
They object to anything and everything—
Clothes, work, going out.
They won’t let me pursue postgraduate studies,
Or even take courses,
Because that means I would come home late,
And that’s not allowed.
And because they think I’ll act self-important and become a snob.

I’m an engineer,
But because of them I’m stuck at a job I hate,
Only because it’s a government job,
That has specific hours and a bus.
They made me waste so many good opportunities.
My life is passing me by,
As I watch.

I know that independence is the only solution,
But I’m controlled by fear.
If they find me, they’ll kill me,
After torturing me first.
I can’t imagine living without fear.
I wish I could get a good night’s sleep,
Without waking up in fear every half hour.
I wish I could live a normal life.

I tried to end my suffering many times by suicide,
But I failed.
Life has become a scary and unhappy place.
My mother and father never hugged me.
Never.
I’m not exaggerating.

Is this ever going to end?