Trigger warning / “A Part of Me” campaign:
This story could contain potentially sensitive and/or triggering material, especially for victims of female genital mutilation. Please remember to check in with yourself as you read and to stop reading if it gets too overwhelming.
I was in sixth grade.
I got home one day,
And mama told me
“Go take a shower.
We’re going out.”
I thought we were visiting a relative.
I asked her where to,
“We’re going to the doctor.”
She explained circumcision to me,
“It’s a simple process.
It’s like a tiny pin prick.
It’s for purity.”
I don’t understand how this is considered purity,
When it only hurts girls.
“Girls in Europe don’t go through this,” I told them.
“Shut up! Do you want to grow up to be horny?” they asked.
They don’t know how much I think about it,
And how it makes me feel weird.
I’m afraid of sex and relationships in general.
I sometimes masturbate.
I was scared when they took me to the doctor,
I kept crying.
He was both an internist and a surgeon.
Baba and mama came with me,
And another woman I didn’t know.
He gave me six injections,
And then used something like a laser device.
I could smell smoke coming out of it.
He asked baba and mama,
“Is this enough? Or should I cut more?”
“That’s enough. Good job,” they told him.
It’s as if they were cutting up a piece of meat.
When the procedure was done, they wrapped me in a bedsheet.
My father and uncle carried me.
And they took me to my room.
Everyone in the street saw me.
My grandmother was happy,
But I was in so much pain.
I wish I’d die instead of having to think about it.
I don’t feel very confident.
I don’t have a good relationship with God.
I’m scared of being in a relationship.
When we went to the doctor he was surprised that I was in sixth grade.
He thought I was too old,
And they should’ve brought me in when I was younger.
“Our girls have to be circumcised.”
“Do you want to leave her until she becomes horny and unruly?”
Until now, I’m scared to go to the doctor.