I’ve always struggled with how my parents treated me,
And the way they looked at me because of my body shape.
I’ve been struggling with obesity,
Ever since I hit puberty.
It’s a genetic thing,
Not only about what I eat.
My mother never gave me a break.
She would call me a “cow”
Or “fatso.”
I hated my body and how I looked.
I hated my life and everything in it.
According to their standards of beauty,
I’m considered a pretty girl.
I was constantly told,
“You’d be perfect if only you lost weight.”
It’s as if their acceptance of me hinges on how my body looked.

I’m a wife and a mother now,
And I still struggle with the things my mother used to tell me as a child.
All my attempts to lose weight failed.
But, I have a better relationship with my body now.
It still hurts when I see my parents,
And to see the way they look at me.
It makes me remember everything they did to me.

I decided to never be that kind of mother.
I decided to take care of myself and my health;
For me, not for anyone else.
I decided to love myself however my body looked;
Whether I stayed fat, or went on a diet, or lost weight.