Brushing my hair as a child was a real burden to me.
My mother would pull it really hard when she brushed it.
It was as if she was punishing me for having “bad” hair.
Combing it was a difficult process.
“Your hair is disgusting. I’m sick of it,” she used to tell me.
She used to push me away if I cried because it hurt, saying,
“Get up. I won’t brush it for you.”

I grew up hating my hair with a passion.
I would even sometimes turn off the TV when hair product commercials would come on.
It made me jealous.
I was always jealous of my sisters.

I started liking curly hair when I grew up, especially the voluminous kind.
But my hair didn’t look like that.
It was frizzy and wavy.
It wasn’t the kind of curly I liked.
I used to always straighten it, of course.
I used to make it wavy instead of curly when I was a little older.

I found out about the curly hair routine around a year ago.
I learned that curly hair needs certain kinds of products and care.
It shouldn’t, for example, be brushed while it’s dry, which is something I used to always do.
And that the products shouldn’t contain silicone or sulphates.
I learned the routine and decided to give it a try.
I only wore it down at home because I wore the hijab.

“You’ve got to straighten your hair!” my mother would yell at me.
My father was going to hit me once because I didn’t want to tie back my “frizzy, disgusting hair.”
“Your hair disgusts me. You’ve got to think of how others will see it,” my mother once told me.
I was veiled and no one could even see it.
“It doesn’t look good. You look like a street child,” she also said.
My father once threatened to chop off my hair if I didn’t brush it and tie it back like normal people.

I’m studying abroad now and I only go to Egypt during holidays.
This incident happened when I was there last time.

I’m studying in South Africa, so my hair is accepted there.
It looks good now.
It’s not frizzy anymore.
I thought it wouldn’t look good, but the key was to learn how to take care of it.

Curly hair is not popular in Egypt.
That’s why I couldn’t take care of it.
I haven’t worn my hair natural in Egypt yet.
But I’m sure that men will think it’s a reason to harass me.
They’ll think I’m trying to grab their attention with my hair.
The kind of hair that isn’t liked by Egyptians.