I’m a dark-skinned girl.
I was, of course, bullied all throughout my school and university years.
I was called “chocolate.”
It used to upset me,
But I didn’t tell mama.
I was scared of her.
She, herself, would introduce me to her friends by saying,
“My daughter is black and ugly.”
She’d say it jokingly.

When I was in high school,
My philosophy tutor used to call me Bakar [after the dark-skinned Egyptian cartoon character].
This, of course, was in front of the entire class.
The kids laughed when he called for me and I didn’t respond.
“What? Why didn’t you get up?” he asked.
“You didn’t call my name, sir!” I replied.
“I said Bakar. There isn’t anyone else but you!”
This was in 2004.
There were 100 students in the classroom,
And the kids were laughing throughout the whole thing.
They started calling me Bakar.
I didn’t go to any of that teacher’s private tutoring sessions again,
Until the night before the exam.
I still really hate my skin tone.
I try to be confident about how I look, but I can’t.
Most guys look for a light-skinned girl.
I don’t care about marriage.
But I do care that there are people who want me to wear makeup that’ll make my skin look lighter.
I don’t want to be liked for having a different skin tone.
I hate myself and how I look,
And I’m unable to accept the way I look.