I have always been overweight,
And my family comments about my body all the time.
I used to feel like I was public property,
That anyone could look at me and my body and call me,
“Fat” or “chubby”.
I was the butt of jokes at family gatherings,
Which I hated more than anything.

They used to joke that I ate my siblings’ share of food,
Or say, “Give me some of your food!”
My aunt once told me,
“Who will to marry a cow like you? Lose weight!”
Then she laughed in front of my relatives,
And no one said anything.

I wanted to cry in these situations, but I didn’t,
Because I didn’t want them to know that they had gotten to me.
When I went to school, I was lonely,
Because none of the girls wanted to be friends with someone fat like me.
I used to hear girls say that they’re scared of me,
I wanted to tell them that I loved them so much,
That I wasn’t scary,
But nothing changed.

I kept searching for anyone who’d say anything nice to me,
Even if it was a lie,
And I’d go to them.
It’s not like I did anything wrong, I swear to God,
I just wanted to hear the words,
“You’re beautiful; you’re accepted.”

I loved someone with all my heart,
But when we became serious,
He told me, “You have to lose weight, because my family doesn’t like fat girls,
And I can’t deal with what they’ll say.”
He really broke my heart.
I refused to be in any relationship for years,
And I rejected every suitor because of my low self-confidence.

I saw a gazillion nutritionists,
And I didn’t lose any weight.
Later, I discovered with my doctor that I have a condition,
That causes my body to store sugar.
To lose weight I had to refrain from eating fruit, dairy products, all carbs,
And anything with sugar in it.
But of course, I can’t do that.
My only solace is that I finally found someone who loves me as I am,
And we got married.