It was the second year of college.
I was going through a lot of problems at the time.
They were either related to college, home, or relationships.
I used to talk to and confide in a spiritual guide who knew my family.

At first, he’d take me in his arms and console me while I cried.
I liked when he did that because I saw him as a father figure,
And as someone older than me who knew how much I needed this safe space.

Later on he started molesting me.
I remember how I stayed quiet out of shock.
Even though I was screaming on the inside.
“No, you can’t do that. You, especially you, can’t do that.”
I had been subjected to constant sexual harassment for quite some time.
It was something that caused me pain.
And I used to always tell him about it.
At that moment, I wanted to exclaim,
“Even you?!”
He physically harassed me and told me how long he had been wanting to do it.

I was in denial after the incident.
I saw him again a week later, to prove to myself that nothing had happened.
He was acting normally.
But he tried to molest me again.
That’s when I flew into a rage.
I beat him and ran.
It’s been seven years since then.
I’ve talked about it a lot.
I’ve sought therapy,
I attended courses on how to heal and recover from molestation,
But it still affects and saddens me.
There are negative built-up emotions inside me because of it.