Like all girls, I’ve experienced sexual harassment many times.
By strangers in the streets, by a relative that took advantage of my innocence,
and by a brother who would spy on me in my room when I was unaware.
I’ve never felt safe in my bedroom.
I also don’t feel safe when I shower or sleep — something I’ve never enjoyed.
I’m always looking for an escape.
My silence is slowly killing me.
Was I set free when I allowed my friend to hug me
or when I let him touch my body?
It was the first time I felt that my body body was my own.
I could do whatever I wanted with it. I could let whoever I wanted to touch it.
But not those with hidden desires.
Is this freedom? Is this what it’s like to own my body, soul, and spirit?
Or is it another form of slavery and submission?
I don’t know. I wish I did.
I Wish I Knew
2017