My whole life I have felt that there is something wrong with me,
Or that something is missing.
Something everyone has, but I don’t.
Something that always makes me shy and unable to talk to people.
I feel stupid that I’m like this and end up blaming myself.
This also makes me accept a lot less than I deserve.
And when someone says something nice, I feel that it’s too much.
That I don’t deserve it.
Or when a boy flirts with me, I am always certain that he doesn’t like me.
But If I think he’s okay, I play along.
And most of the time, his intention is to sleep with me and then leave me.
So things end up not working out anyway.
I tried to start loving myself and pay attention to my appearance,
But something is always missing.
I tried to mimic the way my friends speak,
But I still remain stupid.
I want to love, be loved, and live a normal life.