I’ve had a hell of a week.
I received a call from my husband.
“I want you to come back, but on my terms.”
“What terms? do you remember when you begged me to marry you,” I told him.
He said, “It was you who was begging me to marry you, I didn't even want you.”
I don’t regret leaving him.
But when he started reaching out to me again, I kept hoping that maybe he has changed.
Maybe we can get back together.
Every woman wants to raise her children with her husband.
I know he wants me back, so I can cancel our prenup.
Why would I do that?
I’ve already resorted to khula

His cousin tried to convince me to go back to him.
I told him I won’t.
He said, “Do it for the girls.”
I told him, “Growing up with a mother and father, who are divorced, but respect one another, is so much better than living with two people who hate each other.”
“Well what about the prenup?”
“What do you mean?
You are ignoring the fact that the kids need financial support.
They need food and clothes.
He hasn't spent any money on the kids for the last three month.
He said, “He’s not reluctant to spend money on them.”
“Well then what is he waiting for?” I asked.

Sometimes I wonder who will support my daughters when they grow up?
Who will support them when they get married?
But when I remember what he did, I tell myself.
“Who do you want to go back to again?”
I used to hear him with my own ears telling some woman,
“I’ll buy you a flat with three bedrooms, not two”
And he’d tell her he’d marry her.

He treated me in the most degrading manner.
When I packed up and left, he suddenly decided that he wanted me back!

If I find out he got married, I’ll sue him.
It’ll be my wedding present to him.

Our problems started a year ago.
He got on my nerves in every way possible,
Just to tire me out
He insulted me, beat me...
Even the sex we had,
I don’t even know what to say about it!
You’d think it’s a stranger raping someone and not someone who is sleeping with his wife.

He would call our youngest daughter over.
“Get you mother to make me a cup of coffee and to come to me”

I’d go to him, praying, “Dear God, dear God, set the room on fire.”
After he was done with me, he’d slap me and pull my hair.
He would spit on my face and tell me,
“You’re nothing to me. You are appalling.”
If he couldn’t ejaculate, he would spit on my face again.
He would take a towel, wipe his penis,
and then throw the towel in my face.
When I’d shower after, he’d say, “Filthy woman, go clean yourself.”

It got worse everyday,
so I said to myself enough is enough.
The last time he beat me was after I went to go visit my son,
after he kicked him out of the house.
He came home from work one day,
took off his clothes, undid his belt and put it on the bed.
He called our youngest daughter over,
and told her to go get me and her sister.

She was in the room, while me and my other daughter stood in the doorway.
“How many times have you seen your brother,
And don’t you dare lie to me”
She was frightened and denied seeing him.
“He’s my son and I can see him whenever I want,
Isn't it enough that you’ve kicked him out,” I said.

“Your opinion doesn't matter,” he said.
“What did you give him when he came over?”
“You should know that your son doesn't need anything from either of us.
He works. He can take care of himself. Your son has become a man.”
The second I said that, he exploded with anger.
He pushed me to the ground and kept slapping me until I fainted.

It was as if I blacked out,
But I could still hear him shouting at me.
“I made something out of you,
I put a roof over your head.
I will make you curse the day you were born.”
I was crying at that point.
After that, he would call our youngest daughter over to him,
And send her to ask me to do things for him.
He would tell her to call me a whore and do this or that for him.
“Also makes sure I can hear you while you tell her!”

My daughter would come to me, her eyes brimming with tears.
“It’s okay, say it, don't be frightened. It’s not you who is saying these things.”
Enough is enough.
I called my son and told him to come pick me up.
I was finally leaving.
I didn't think I could.

I have been facing a number of issues since I left him.
I need to get educational guardianship of my kids.
I will not be able to transfer them to another school without his approval.
I have been going around in circles;
From one office to another,
Issuing paperwork for the transfer,
And filing suits.
They are making it impossible.
I have to get educational guardianship of the kids,
To protect their future.

The lawyer told me that my 15 and 16 year old kids need to file for child support themselves.
I don't want my kids to get caught up in all of this.
The three of them live with me,
Their dad doesn’t want to provide them with any financial support.
Why do I have to go through all of this?
I paid 2000 LE for the divorce lawyer already.
Not to mention the custody suit that I still have to file for.
I don't know what to do anymore.