I have a jaw deformity.
I was born with it.
So were my siblings.
But my parents fixed theirs early on so it was easy.
There’s an age gap between me and my siblings,
So by the time I got here,
My parents had a lot of issues,
And we couldn't fix mine.
I don’t like how I look.
I don’t like my face.
I don’t like taking pictures from certain angles.
I feel ugly.
I used to get comments when I was young:
"Why is your face so long?"
But I wasn't aware and never understood, until high-school.
I started seeing doctors,
And even the doctors’ conclusion was that I was ugly and needed to fix everything.
Teachers and a lot of other people would tell me and my friend that we looked alike.
She would instantly disagree and say that we looked nothing alike,
And it hurt.
But what hurt the most was a comment from my best friend:
When I said I didn’t like how I looked in our pictures,
And mentioned that I wanted to cut my hair,
Her reply was,
"No, you just need to change your face,”
It took me so long to get past this incident,
And I still can’t take pictures from certain angles.
And if I accidently see my shadow,
All I can think about is how ugly I am.
Every day I think if I have jaw correction surgery,
I’ll be beautiful and I’ll gain the confidence I lack.
But the risks that come with it aren't worth it,
And I pray every day to accept and love who I am as God intended.