Trigger warning / “A Part of Me” campaign:
This story could contain potentially sensitive and/or triggering material, especially for victims of female genital mutilation. Please remember to check in with yourself as you read and to stop reading if it gets too overwhelming.
I’m 25 years old.
I was circumcised when I was 11.
I was in fifth grade then.
I knew what they were going to do,
But I didn’t know anything about sex at the time,
Or how FGM would affect my ability to have sex.
FGM isn’t associated with physical pain for me so much as psychological pain.
I’ve only ever desired sex a few times,
When I hit puberty.
Nowadays,
I feel nothing.
I don’t feel desire.
I don’t feel physical pleasure.
I get the urge to be with my husband,
But they’re only romantic feelings.
I want to be close to him.
But do I feel desire?
No.
Do I get that “wow” feeling everyone talks about?
No.
I wish I could.
I wish I could turn back time,
And it wouldn’t have happened to me.