On My Own Bed

Trigger warning / “A Part of Me” campaign:
This story could contain potentially sensitive and/or triggering material, especially for victims of female genital mutilation. Please remember to check in with yourself as you read and to stop reading if it gets too overwhelming.


I was around 13.
We were in the countryside, where every girl had to be circumcised.
One of my mother’s relatives was a nurse, and used to perform circumcisions.
She examined me at first to check what will need to be cut,
It was the first time in my life that someone would examine me like that.

I got circumcised at home, on my bed, despite my objections.
Although the procedure was done while I was under local anesthesia,
It was so painful.
It was the first time for me to feel that much pain.
I closed my eyes after being told that if I opened them I would go blind.
I heard her say that I was bleeding.
I was screaming, but it happened anyway.

It was a harsh experience,
One that was unnecessary.
I was in pain for several days
I couldn't move, nor go to the bathroom
I hated myself and my body.
It was as if being a girl was a punishment.

I felt like my body wasn’t my own.
Yet, I was the one who experienced the pain.
I hated that part of my body,
I only saw it as a source of pain.

But enough is enough,
I decided that since I was the one in pain,
Then this is my body,
It was mine alone.
I am not anyone’s source of honour or shame.
I am only human.
If I can feel pain in my body, then it's also my right to feel pleasure and comfort.

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