I feel like my children have become uneasy around me because of the time I did in jail.
They don’t treat me like I’m their mother.
“Well, you have been to jail,” my siblings say.
“You act like someone who’s been in jail.”
But I don’t curse. I don’t do any of the things they did back there.
Still, a lot of people are afraid of me.

Take yesterday, for example.
My husband’s niece was getting her furniture upholstered.
So, I went to the area I lived in before I was jailed.
“What are you doing here?” my son asked. “Don’t you know that people around here know you were in jail?”
“So what?” I said.
Yeah, I was in jail.
I was jailed for dealing drugs.
But I’ve done nothing wrong.
“I had to make a living. I wanted to provide you with the very best food and clothes. Better I did it that way than any other way”.

I see judgement in people's eyes.
What’s wrong with being an ex-prisoner?
Why am I seen as less than anyone else?
I’m a normal human being. I know everything there is to know.
But we are seen this way because we have nothing.
Why can’t we be better off, enjoy a better standard of living?
Things might have been better if we could have afforded that.
But I like the way I live now.
I’m strong and dependable and can manage no matter where I am.
I know how to talk to anyone and do anything I want, legally.

I wish my children didn’t consider what I did wrong.
I feel like they make fun of me and are ashamed of me.
They’re everything to me, and I’d do anything for them.
And if that means having to deal drugs again, I’d do it.

I’ve never done anything wrong and never plan to.
I know God’s always watching me.
And one day He is going to judge me.
And I fear God’s judgement very much.
And whatever God wants to happen will happen.