He was always suspicious of me.
Whenever he went out, he’d wedge a single hair between the door and the doorframe.
When he’d get back home, he’d check the door to see if I’d gone out.
His suspicions were very hard to deal with.
When God was going to bless us with a baby, my husband gave me an ultimatum: “It’s either me or the baby.”
So, I went and got an abortion.
motherhood, social stigma, domestic violence, prison, physical violence

We were transferred on the first day.
We didn’t know if we were going to be transferred or not.
We found out when someone called the police station.
We found out that we were going to the Qanater prison.
I remember my expectations of that place.
prison

I worked at the gates for the Commissioner.
For every 10 loads I carried, I got 2 boxes of cigarettes.
I would also get soda cans from the prisoners in for forgery.
That was until I received my sentence.
prison, work, marriage

When the prison affairs officials would pass by in the yard, I’d submit my papers and visit my brother.
And I’d ask my brother to visit me in prison.
This was allowed to people with long sentences.
prison

It all started in 2005.
My husband hadn’t got a raise yet and I had 5 children.
We were tight on money because my husband wasn’t making enough.
I thought I should find another source of income to take care of my children’s expenses.
prison, divorce, social stigma

No one stood beside me, even though I’ve always stood beside everyone.
I stood beside my siblings, husband and my parents-in-law. But no one stood beside me.
I had to depend on myself in there.
prison

When I got out I felt like I was in a circus.
There was an implicit collective agreement to not talk about it.
And to surrender to depression.
I didn’t like that.
No one could understand what it was really like.
prison

I was still under investigation when I went to prison.
One of the police officers was called Mofeed. He was a decent man, to be honest.
I saw a 20-year-old girl coming in.
Those kids are considered juveniles until they turn 18. 
prison, physical violence

My sister and I were requesting a case postponement when we found out that we had been sentenced to prison.
I had helped my brother borrow money for his daughter’s marriage.
I didn’t take any of the money myself; I only helped him out but he didn’t return the money.
My sister used to buy things which she would then sell.
prison, bullying, physical violence, social stigma

My problem is that I am staying at my ex-husband’s apartment.
After I was released from jail, my children all got either engaged or married.
We told people that their father was a political detainee.
And that I lived near where he was held to visit him and bring him food.
prison, social stigma