When I got married,
I thought I’d have to stay at home.
I got a job right after I graduated.
I thought being a working wife would take up all my time.
I didn’t want my daughter to come home and not find me there.
I wouldn’t be a good mother that way.
That’s what we all used to believe would happen.
Social pressure; marriage; work; motherhood

In my previous job, there was this poor lady that wanted to be friends with everyone.
“I’m going to have surgery,” she said one day with a certain look in her eyes.
I thought it’d be something gynecology related.
“I did the surgery,” she told me a couple of days later.

I am a mother now.
I didn’t realize how tired I’d be.
I didn’t know what the fear would be like.
Because mothers get scared.
When I was a child,
I didn’t know how scared my mother would get,
When dealing with a situation.
Or that she did certain things out of fear.
The kind of fear mothers experience is present 24/7.

My daughters are the ones that keep me going,
And reassure my faith in God.
I hope we always stay together.
motherhood, family

I got married as soon as I finished college.
I studied translation.
I got pregnant right away with Eyad.
Everything was good at that time.
But before I started work,
I noticed that my son,
Who was two years and four months old,
Hadn’t uttered a single word.
motherhood

I got married shortly after graduation.
I hadn’t yet figured out what marriage really meant.
I found out he was a psychopath after we got married.
He started hitting me three days into our marriage.
He cursed me and accused me of infidelity.
He humiliated me in every sense of the word.
motherhood, marriage, divorce

I got my period when I was in 9th grade.
I felt that something strange and confusing was happening to my body;
Something I couldn’t control.
I was sitting in the living room that had a bifold door,
So it was never fully closed.
I tried to gesture to my mother to come help me,
But she was busy.

I just finished reading one of your stories,
About a mother who body shamed her daughter.
My relationship with my mother has been traumatic.
My mother always did the same thing:
She’d make fun of how I looked generally,
Not just my weight,
Even though I wasn’t fat before I got married,
But she always said I looked poor.

In 2013, I worked as a quality engineer at Alstom.
I was pregnant at the time.
My home was in Sheikh Zayed and my work was in New Cairo.
I used to commute from Sheikh Zayed to New Cairo every day while pregnant.
motherhood, work

I learned to love him over the years,
as I watched him become a human being:
learning to talk
and becoming stubborn, bright, artistic, and funny.