My Graying Hair

My Graying Hair

I’m an Egyptian girl — 18 years old and in the prime of life.
My experience with physical abuse started when I was 3 years old.
My mother told me, “At that age, your father used to hit you with a belt and beat you up.”
I have a brother, and we were treated in completely different ways.

My father used to beat me up when I was young, and he still does until this day.
My brother learned to be violent with me from him. He beats me up over trivial reasons, and sometimes without any reason at all.
He used to stomp on me with his feet and hit me with a chair.
He would bring a knife, cut me with it and threaten to kill me.

My mother didn’t do anything. When she saw him doing that, she would just tell him, “Calm yourself down.”
And my father did absolutely nothing.
He would blame me and continue to beat me up.
I was also subjected to verbal abuse, and I still am until this day.
The most recent thing I heard was, “You neither have the looks nor the brains.”

I suffered from depression when I was 11 years old from all the things I’ve been through.
I changed my study path when I was in highschool.
I abandoned all my dreams.
I broke down.
I attempted to commit suicide countless times, but what always stopped me was my fear of God.

My life is empty. I have no one.
I’m lonely.
I don’t sleep because my mother threatens to kill me in my sleep.
If there’s one thing I’d like you to know, is that I started growing gray hair when I was 11 years old from all the sadness and trauma.
I’ve got so many things to say.

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