My father used to beat me up when I was young, and he still does until this day.
My brother learned to be violent with me from him. He beats me up over trivial reasons, and sometimes without any reason at all.
I suffered from depression when I was 11 years old from all the things I’ve been through.
domestic violence, gender violence, physical violence, parents, depression, suicide
It started when I was in 8th grade after my third sister was born, and from the very first moment, I was forced to be her mother.
She even used to sleep in my arms when I had school early the next morning.
Every so often, I’d wake up to her crying
depression, mental health
Sleeping too much or not sleeping at all.
Constant crying.
An appetite for nothing.
I don’t even want to breathe.
I’m neglecting my work,
And I can’t stand anyone.
I’m failing at school,
And I’m losing my friends.
No one stays with me.
I don’t blame them.
I can’t even tolerate myself.
Something hurts.
Something has made me stop feeling.
I even stopped doing the things I loved most.
Now, I do things just because I have to.
mental health, depression
The first time he hit me was the day I found out I was pregnant.
He picked a fight with me when his friend and his wife were having dinner with us,
And I fried the mombar (a kind of sausage dish),
Before the chicken breasts.
He pulled me by my hair,
And dragged me to the stove,
And threatened to set me on fire to get rid of me.
I didn’t know that this was depression. No one knew.
Months passed and all I wanted was to stop crying.
What was going on?
6 months passed. I wanted the world to end.
I tried to commit suicide more than once.
mental health, depression
I went to my shrink and told her there was a hole inside of me.
Prescribe something, anything. I'm not happy feeling this way.
It's like someone plunged their hand deep inside, took something, and left.
I was just a simple girl who liked to escape reality through books.
That’s when I met a guy who was good with words.
He knew how to impress people with his charisma even though he wasn’t very handsome.
That was the beginning of my love story.
romantic relationships, mental health, depression, suicide
I’m really upset, and I wish I could talk to someone.
Although I have so many friends, I always feel lonely and that no one will understand me.
I’ve thought a lot about going to a psychiatrist, but I’m afraid.
So I started talking to myself and replying as if I’m another person until I became fed up.
mental health, depression
I get bullied and insulted.
It happened that once the religion teacher performed on me the Islamic practice of healing in front of my classmates.
They had planned to do it because they saw that my being different was something abnormal.
I couldn’t do anything.
When I tried to speak up, they just said that it was a joke.
social stigma, depression, school, bullying