I have a son and a daughter.
My son is in the second grade,
And my daughter is sitting here with me.
She’s four years old.
It’s not a very sad story,
But it woke me up from my slumber.

I got married as soon as I finished college.
I studied translation.
I got pregnant right away with Eyad.
Everything was good at that time.
There was some bickering over a lot of things,
With my mother-in-law,
And brother-in-law,
But we moved on.

I gave birth to Eyad.
He was such a beautiful baby boy.
People would envy me for him.
Everything was great then.
There were no problems.
Until I decided to get a job.
But before I started work,
I noticed that my son,
Who was two years and four months old,
Hadn’t uttered a single word.
He only gestured and cried.

We went to a lot of doctors,
And they all said,
“Take him to nursery,
And that’ll fix everything.”
I thought it was a good idea to go to work when he went to nursery.
I started work,
But it wasn’t something I really wanted to do.
I worked as an English teacher.
I thought it was suitable,
Because I’d get to go home before he did.

There wasn’t any progress after starting nursery.
What was I going to do?
I wanted to hear him call me “mama.”
I wanted to hear him say anything.
The thing is,
He understood everything.
Perhaps that’s the thing that made me at ease a little bit.
That he understood what I said to him.
But he couldn’t speak.
And I was alone.
My father lives in Saudi Arabia,
And my mother is always travelling.
My in-laws were off in their own world.
“It’s your fault.”
“You did this to your son.”
“It’s because all the fights you have with his father.”
You, you, you.
It was always me.

I made peace with the situation,
And went back to the doctors.
We started the sessions,
But nothing changed.
All I wanted to do was ask him,
“What’s wrong with you?
Just tell me.
I don’t know what it is.”
I once reached the point where I told his father,
“Take him and leave”
I wanted them out of the house.
I locked myself in my room,
And screamed at the top of my lungs and cried.
I broke down.
At the same moment,
Out of nowhere, my father sent me a message on WhatsApp saying,
“God does not burden any human being with more than they are able to bear.”

That’s when I knew,
That God will not throw something my way,
Unless I am able to bear it.
I got up,
Washed my face,
Did my hair,
Put on make-up,
Got dressed,
And waited for them.
“What happened?” my husband asked.
“You just threw us out.
What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I replied.
“God does not burden any human being with more than they are able to bear.”
“So what do you want?” he asked.
“Nothing.”

I started to snap out of it.
I could get through it.
I know I can.
I know something will come out of this.
It’s God’s will.
He was three years and four months old,
And still wasn’t speaking.
What now?
Nothing was happening.
My husband and I separated for quite some time,
Because of his mother.
Everyone kept telling me,
“You need to get back together for the sake of your son.
For his well-being.”
“His psychological state needs to improve.”

My husband is very kind and loving.
But he can’t stand up to his mother.
Until this day,
I don’t know why he took me back.
We remarried.
I married the same man twice.
Things got better between us,
And I got pregnant with Taleen,
But I quit my job.

I stayed with Eyad,
And told him,
“Listen, Eyad.
It’s just you and me now.
Either you talk,
Or we’ll keep annoying each other.”
This kept going on for exactly one week.
I’ll never forget that day.
For a week, I’d tell him every day,
“What’s your name, sweetheart?”
He was three and a half years old,
Which meant we were supposed to be having long conversations by now.

This went on until one time I shouted,
“Eyad!”
“My name is Eyad,” he said.
I couldn’t keep my cool when I heard it.
I broke down.
It was a beautiful moment.
I couldn’t believe I actually made something happen.

I kept working with him until he was four years old.
We could talk together,
But not like children his age.
There was still the problem of school.
We knew what the teachers would do.
And the question of,
“Why does your son speak so little?”
“What does it concern you?”
I’m not reserved when it comes to this.
I ran into someone on the street once,
And Eyad was crying over something he wanted me to buy for him,
And I refused.
“Have you no heart?
How could you let him cry and roll on the floor like that?” she asked.
“It’s none of your business.”

I would keep telling him,
“I’m proud of you, sweetheart.
I’ll always support and protect you.
You’re the best thing in this world.”

Eyad is now in the second grade.
He’s doing very well at school,
And is among the top students.
Eyad is the one who calls for prayer at school,
Because God granted him a beautiful voice.

I went back to work,
But I feel like I want to leave it again.
Because I still feel that I could help him reach his potential.
I want him to be even more successful.
He still has problems with social interactions.
He knows my relatives,
And can deal with them,
But he still can’t express himself with words.

I decided that that would be my last semester at school,
For him.
I live for him now.
Eyad is my entire life.
But some people keep telling me,
“You shouldn’t leave work now.
Wait a little.”
But no,
I think he needs me more right now,
So I could help him get better.

I see myself as the strongest mother in the world.
I don’t know why.
But I’m convinced that I am.
When a teacher at school once said something hurtful to him,
I didn’t let it pass.
The action I took happened in front of him,
So that he knows that no one can ever walk all over him.
And that I’ll always be there for him,
And stand up for him anytime and anywhere,
Until he can defend himself.
My whole life is dedicated to Taleen and Eyad.