I stopped wearing the hijab a few months ago.
Ramadan is approaching and I’m terrified.
I’m afraid of what my family might say.
I’m afraid of what people in the street will say.

I was subjected to all kinds of horrible comments from my family
And from people in the street
When I wore the hijab.
Especially if I had lipstick on, for example,
Or were a little active that day.
Several times, a cab driver would slow down to ask,
“Aren’t you fasting, miss?”
When I fought with them and cursed them, they’d say,
“Yeah, you’re definitely not fasting.”

Back when I used to go to school,
The boys would watch the girls like hawks.
They’d keep track of who went to the bathroom to eat or drink,
Or who appeared to be doing so,
Then they’d go back and announce that said girl wasn’t fasting
And was on her period.
They’d be beside themselves with glee at this momentous discovery.

I always felt too shy to say I wasn’t fasting because I was on my period.
And sometimes I’d fast anyway and would become super exhausted.
All so I wouldn’t appear to be on my period.
Because I was never able to eat in public then.

Everyone keeps their eyes on girls during Ramadan.
Like they’re seconds away from blowing up the planet or stopping time or something.
Like they’re about to ruin everyone else’s fast and faith.