We got out the day before Eid; we had received a pardon.
We woke up in the morning thinking it was just a regular day.
During the sports period, one of the inmates told us that we’d be getting out that day.
I told her that it wasn’t possible.
We wanted to exercise before the period was over.
She seemed sure that we’d be getting out.
Everyone came to congratulate us.
We hadn’t heard anything from the administration so we thought it wasn’t true.
The guard told us to collect our belongings because there won’t be time when we’re released.
She told us to take the things we didn’t want to leave behind.
We collected our things and waited.
That was during Ramadan, so we broke our fast, prayed and were waiting for the Isha prayer.
That’s when they told us that we were free to go.
They told us that our families got us clothes.
We told them we didn’t want to change out of the prison clothes.
We weren’t ashamed of the prison uniform. We weren’t going to change out of it.
“We won’t wear colorful clothes. We won’t leave this place except in its uniform.”
“Isn’t this what you made us wear to our hearings?”
They kept arguing with us and we were steadfast on not changing our clothes.
“There’s no use trying to sugarcoat it.”
When we got out we learned that the release was being processed since the morning.
I found my sister waiting for me.
They had been waiting for 4 or 5 hours outside the prison.
They told them to bring us clothes.
The parking lot outside Qanater prison was pitch black that I couldn’t even see my father.

They told us to leave the premises quickly because they didn’t want any media exposure.
We also dropped off one of the inmates whose mother didn’t show up.
They gave me a phone and I didn’t know what to do with it. It felt weird holding it in my hands.
I sat with the girl in the backseat and my father and sister were in the front.
We kept making fun of the roads and the cars passing by.
I couldn’t sleep for 2 days.
We had breakfast together the following day.
We went out with the same people I used to go out with before—nothing had changed.
But seeing the metal forks and knives, menus, waiter and plates made me quite nervous.
I spent a couple of months in a state of confusion. I’m only starting to understand what was wrong now.
I didn’t want to blow things out of proportion.
It wasn’t that dramatic in prison.
I wanted to go back to work like a normal person.

I went to Dahab with my friends in October.
I went with my mother, sister and two close friends and we had fun.
But the group suddenly increased in number a couple of days later.
I didn’t feel comfortable because most of the people there didn’t even bother to check up on me.
They seemed unaware of it.
I wasn’t comfortable being around a large group of people.
I would hear them whispering “What’s wrong with her?” while I was in the water.
“She’s changed.”
People kept inviting me to parties that I didn’t want to go to.
Why was I being invited to parties by strangers?
That was our first day out.