Out of Love and Jealousy

We met at a charity event.
He pretended to be understanding and supportive of women’s rights.

I loved him.
I was separated then.
I had a unique personality and was respected by everyone.
He was controlling and isolated me from my friends and family. He said he was doing it out of love and jealousy.
I drifted apart from my parents and best friends.
He would never leave me alone, even at night when it was time to sleep.
He was always suspicious of me.
He thought I was being unfaithful to him.

I kept making excuses for him. I put up with him because I loved him.
I’d tell myself that he’d soon learn to trust me.

His suspicion escalated to accusations, insults, and beatings.
I still endured his behavior in the hopes that he’d eventually become more understanding.

I was slowly withering away.
My appearance changed over time.
I lost my vision and suffered from memory loss for some time.
This brought about other health problems.
The doctors couldn’t diagnose the illness until recently.
It was a psychosomatic response to the emotional trauma I’d experienced.

“It’s not because of me. It must’ve happened before you met me,” he said.
He refused to let me be examined by a doctor. He thought it was inappropriate.

He got caught up with other things and drifted away from me when I fell sick.
I’m still standing strong despite this vicious disease.
Despite the heartbreak caused by the person I loved the most.
The person who used personal information I shared with him to try and break me.
I’m still persevering by God’s grace.
Just so I can be there for my daughters.

Those three years shattered me into little pieces.
But God hasn’t abandoned me.

I will never let anyone walk all over me again.
Love is not abusive.
Love is what life is all about.

Warning The stories on our story archive could contain potentially sensitive and/or triggering material. If a story causes you discomfort or pain, please remember to breathe and check in with yourself before continuing or stop reading completely if necessary.