I wish my parents were still alive.
My mother raised six girls.
My eldest sister got married when my father was still alive.
The rest of them got married later after he passed.

I wish I had a wedding.
We went through a difficult time.
My mother got diabetes and fell ill.
She was incapable of doing anything.
Every now and then, she tried to help us out.
My sisters all work to provide for us.

My mother had to amputate her leg.
Her siblings stopped visiting her.
“Are you afraid of me?” she’d ask.
She used to always visit them,
But then they stopped speaking to her except rarely over the phone.

Her brother would sometimes visit her.
But he’d only say hello from the doorstep.
He refused to go inside.
He thought she was contagious.
Ironically enough, he developed the same exact condition as her.
She lived a hard life until she finally passed away.

I got married in hopes of being with someone who would be like a father or brother figure to me.
But he didn’t really do anything.
We had our problems.

I’ve always wanted to live a good life.
One that would make me forget the hardships I experienced.
I always felt an overwhelming sadness when the father of my husband’s sister-in-law visited.
I’d sit alone and cry.
I wish someone would visit me.
I wish I had someone to tell me nice things.

My children had a good upbringing.
But my husband gave me a hard time.
I once asked for a divorce,
And what I got in return was a potential lawsuit.
He accused me of stealing 10,000 Egyptians pounds from him.
He said I took them and ran away with the kids.

He wanted to put me in jail.
The police came to my house.
I thought to myself had my parents been alive, they would’ve had my back.
They wanted to take me away.
They advised me to turn myself in.

I went to the police station with my lawyer.
The officer looked at me and said,
“She’s not a thief. A woman could never rob her husband.”
I swore to him that I didn’t take a dime.
And that he was doing this out of revenge.
I begged them not to take any action against my husband.
I didn’t want our children to think badly of him.
I didn’t want him to be mad at me.

The whole thing blew over eventually.
I went back home a couple of months later,
But I still faced some problems.
People would ask me,
“Why did you go back to your husband after what he did to you?”
I’d tell them it’s for the sake of our children.
I didn’t want to take them away from their father.

Thank God it’s over now.
We’re all struggling together to make ends meet.
We all work now.
I worked for two months in a factory.
It was terrible.
The men were cruel.
They took advantage of widowed women.
So I quit the job.

I worked in another factory for a couple of months,
But I also quit because I was going through some problems.
My in-laws were spreading rumors about me.
But I’m not alone,
Allah is by my side.

I’m still taking care of the children.
I’m looking forward to when they get married.
But I’m struggling.
I’m struggling alone.

I’ve got six sisters.
I had a brother but he passed away.
I wish I had someone to support me.
But I know Allah is with me.

In any case, I’m still surviving.
It’s out of my hands now.
No one calls to check up on us.
We have no one but Allah.
My sisters visit sometimes, which I’m grateful for.

This is why I keep telling my children to always be good to one another.
They sometimes fight, which is normal.
Having a brother is a blessing that I was deprived of.
But what can we do about it?
My boys are everything to me.
I’ve had to bear responsibility for my children when I was married,
And even after my husband’s death.