All Rolls of Fat

All Rolls of Fat

Mama used to always tell me,
“I used to cry because you refused to eat.
You weighed only 8 kilos when you were five,
And you were going to die!”
When I turned 6,
I started gaining weight, and then gaining some more.
I started getting comments at home, then at school, then from society at large.

My mom and my sister say things that hurt my feelings all the time.
Instead of helping me, they say things like,
“Lose weight so people don’t talk about you,”
“Clothes don’t fit you well,” and
“Lose weight because I’m embarrassed to be seen with you!”
The most cruel comment I received was,
“Who’s going to marry someone who’s all rolls of fat?”
It wasn’t the marriage part that hurt me so much as the part about the rolls.

I developed social anxiety,
And started tearing out my hair.
I stay at home for months at a time.
I’m scared of buying food,
I’m scared of buying anything from the supermarket,
And I’m scared of eating in front of people.

I became introverted and depressed.
I attempted suicide;
I gulped down a lot of pills and passed out.
I was on a lot of strict diets where I just drank water.
This took a toll on my heart;
I pass out a lot,
And my heart still suffers health-wise.

We know our weight,
And we can see how we look!
Leave us alone because it’s costing us our lives and our health.
Seriously, just leave us alone!

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