I got married when I was very young,
As soon as I finished college.
It’s not your classic story of finding out he was a different man after marriage.
Everything was clear from the start.
We don’t really understand the meaning of the other person’s actions when we’re young.

I got married,
And moved to another city.
I only knew him and his family.
I was alone.
I had no one but them.
They’re the ones who broke me.
I decided that five years were enough.
I couldn’t go on..

I have a six year old daughter,
Because I got pregnant right away.
I filed for divorce after five years.
He was against getting a divorce.
“We’ll stay together,”
“I’ll change,”
“I’m not like other people.”
I knew that none of those things were going to happen.
After I filed for divorce,
He stopped looking after his daughter,
As a sort of punishment for leaving him.

I could’ve depended on my parents to provide for me.
My parents were willing to.
But I wanted to be the one to provide for my daughter.
I want my daughter to grow up knowing that her mother did everything.
I don’t want her to depend on her grandparents.
I wanted to do everything by myself.

When I first got married,
I tried to work but was met with criticism everytime I brought it up.
“You want to work as a coach?
That’s not worth your time.
Stay at home.”
“You want to work as a lawyer?
But you’ll be working with men.
No, stay at home.”
I couldn’t find anything to do.

Now that I was single,
I decided to focus on just one thing.
I wanted my daughter to see me as successful.
She brags about me and my job now to her friends.

I want my daughter to know that I’m the one providing for her.
That I’m not waiting for someone else to do it.
I’m not waiting for her father,
Who completely disappeared from her life.
I’m investing all of my energy in the two of us.
I’m not going to ask my father for help.
I’m turning 30 soon,
Which means I can’t ask my father for an allowance.
That’s not normal.
I depend on myself now,
But I’m still not where I want to be.
I’ll get there one step at a time.