I’m a working mother,
And a student.
I work as a freelancer,
So I don’t have fixed working hours.
This causes problems with the people around me,
And even with my son.

You’re not the greatest mother.
You think you are.
You don’t care about me.
You don’t show respect,
And you feel that the best way to treat my pain is to ignore it.

I was lost.
I was trying to figure things out.
Where did I go wrong?
The anger I had inside me for wasting years of my life was projected onto my poor son.
I wanted to be selfish.
I wanted to love myself.
I’ve been through enough.
motherhood, marriage, divorce

Their idea of “protection” is misconstrued.
It’s no different than my father putting me inside a box.

My first divorce was because I wouldn't have sex with him,
But there were a lot of things I didn’t understand.
My family didn’t tell me anything.
I didn’t know anything at all.
To the extent that I wasn’t quite sure what the bridal cloth was for.
domestic violece; gender violence; physcial violence; sex; motherhood; addiction; social pressure; marriage; divorce

I’m afraid of having children.
I’m afraid of raising a son or daughter in this country.
“C’mon, you need to have a baby soon.”
“Why don’t you want to have children?”
“Have you gone for a check up?”

I spent 10 Eids and 10 holidays in prison.
The day before Eid makes everyone sad.
That was the case for the cell I was in.
Everyone would be sad from the day before Eid until the following morning.
prison, motherhood

I just finished reading one of your stories,
About a mother who body shamed her daughter.
My relationship with my mother has been traumatic.
My mother always did the same thing:
She’d make fun of how I looked generally,
Not just my weight,
Even though I wasn’t fat before I got married,
But she always said I looked poor.

Perhaps most of us before marriage,
Don’t really understand the impact our mothers have on us.
We don’t really appreciate it.
We don’t possess enough awareness to appreciate what they’ve done for us.
I used to get mad at her quite often,
Just like anyone who was in high school or college.
motherhood, parents

I found out two years ago by pure chance that I had a tumor in my uterus.
“The position of the tumor is critical and we might have to remove the uterus,” the doctor said.
I was terrified.
It wasn’t that I was worried it would stop me from getting married.