They’re not all deceitful in there.
Some people are good, while others are bad.
Some people visited me when I was arrested.
They stood by me and visited my children when I received my sentence.
prison

My husband and I had five children.
We used to live in a two-bedroom apartment. We lived a good life.
He gave me a good life, God rest his soul.
He built an apartment building and said he’d reserve an entire floor for us, instead of just one small apartment.
prison, social stigma

It all started in 2005.
My husband hadn’t got a raise yet and I had 5 children.
We were tight on money because my husband wasn’t making enough.
I thought I should find another source of income to take care of my children’s expenses.
prison, divorce, social stigma

At first, I thought I wouldn’t survive prison.
But in fact, the experience made me stronger.
I didn’t need help from anyone.
I unloaded things at the prison gate, worked as a yard cleaner and a cook.
Everyone would tell me that I wouldn’t be able to make it in there.
prison

He was always suspicious of me.
Whenever he went out, he’d wedge a single hair between the door and the doorframe.
When he’d get back home, he’d check the door to see if I’d gone out.
His suspicions were very hard to deal with.
When God was going to bless us with a baby, my husband gave me an ultimatum: “It’s either me or the baby.”
So, I went and got an abortion.
motherhood, social stigma, domestic violence, prison, physical violence

I was released by the 4th night.
I went home, carrying the clothes and stuff I had with me in jail.
I knocked on my family’s door.
I needed to go to the bathroom. I wanted to shower and all that.
prison, social stigma, marriage

The police officer was saying the most disgusting curse words when he was interrogating me.
I got my period at that moment.
“What is that?” he asked.
“Blood,” I said.
prison, social stigma

I spent 10 Eids and 10 holidays in prison.
The day before Eid makes everyone sad.
That was the case for the cell I was in.
Everyone would be sad from the day before Eid until the following morning.
prison, motherhood

This experience made me lose my job.
It made me lose the ability to get my money from the marketplace and give it to people.
It made me lose so many things.
My losses were financial when I entered that place. 
What I learned was to never trust anyone.
prison, work, social stigma

Mother’s day in there was such a terrible day for me, to be honest.
My mother is very special to me. May she rest in peace.
Only those who have lost their mothers will understand the feeling.
prison, parents