I was just a simple girl who liked to escape reality through books.
That’s when I met a guy who was good with words.
He knew how to impress people with his charisma even though he wasn’t very handsome.
That was the beginning of my love story.

We were best friends for a year and a half before I fell in love with him.
I didn’t confess my love out of fear of losing my friend.
But he knew how I felt about him.
Little by little, his desires began to unravel.
He wanted to take advantage of that smart, beautiful girl.
He wanted to be more than just friends.

It was not love.
It was a desire to possess. .
It didn’t take me long to figure it out.
This man was a player.
He treated women like prey, catching one after the other.

I was not the only one.
He confessed his love to many girls.
They all believed him. No one ever doubted his love.

Years went by filled with infidelity, forgiveness, and increasing closeness.
He promised to change..
He said that he didn’t want to stay that way.
But I continued to discover his lies and betrayals.

His victims usually find out and leave him, but I stayed.
I’m the idiot who thought that all this man needed was acceptance and unconditional love.
He said that he loved me, and that he was grateful for my existence, but also said,
“I can’t marry you. My parents don’t approve.”
“I’ve told you this many times.”
“It’s not easy being away from you, but you have to go on with your life.”

What life?
After I’ve spent years by your side?
I’ve known you for 7 years, and not one day went by where I didn’t suffer because of you.
I put up with you and supported you.
I believed you when no one else did.
I was your home.
And now you’re leaving me?
You won’t fight for me for once?
Am I not worth it?

The idiot still believed him.
It was a matter of days until I discovered that he had been cheating on me as usual.
Why wouldn’t he? It’s in his blood.
He has no conscience.
He let go of the one person who stood by him.

What did I get out of this experience?
Chronic depression.
6 months of rehabilitation.
2 failed suicide attempts.
A loss of appetite.
Trouble sleeping.
I could go for days without any sleep.
Or get a few hours of sleep interrupted by anxiety and overthinking.

It’s as though I’m dead.
I know he’s cheating on me right now.
I ask myself, why is this happening to me?
I don’t deserve this pain.