I have two toes stuck together in both feet.
Kids my age would come up and ask me about them when I was young.
“Get surgery. Pull those toes apart,” people would tell my parents.
I hated wearing sandals for a long time.
I used to wear sneakers or anything that didn’t show my toes.
body image, bullying
My hair grew out very dry and curly.
Mama didn’t know how to deal with it.
She tried oils and creams.
My hair was in braids all during my childhood.
I never let my hair down.
I never felt the wind in my hair.
My maternal aunts made fun of me
body image, hair, beauty standards, bullying, hijab
I was born in Saudi Arabia.
When I was young,
I was bullied because of my dark skin.
I didn’t have any friends,
Because no one wanted to be friends with me.
I hated myself.
I wanted to die,
So I could go to heaven,
And be reborn as a girl with pale skin,
Blonde hair,
And green eyes.
I used to have a good body.
Then, one year,
I gained a lot of weight,
Because of health issues.
People have been treating me differently ever since.
They even look at me differently,
Even though I’m still the exact same person.
I have a jaw deformity.
I was born with it.
So were my siblings.
It’s genetic,
But my parents fixed theirs early on so it was easy.
There’s an age gap between me and my siblings,
So by the time I got here,
My parents had a lot of issues,
And we couldn't fix mine.
Synonyms for Curly Hair:
“Poofy hair”
“Like a poodle”
“Like a broom”
“Like a toilet brush”
“Like a ceiling duster”
“Mixed in a blender”
body image, hair, bullying, beauty standards
“I’m embarrassed to say you’re my daughter.”
Ever since I was 10 years old,
I’ve received criticism from everyone because of my weight,
Especially from my father.
“You’re fat. If you looked good,
You would have been married to a decent guy by now.”
“I’m embarrassed to be seen with you.”
When I was in the 7th grade,
My gym class teacher told me in the playground in front of all of my classmates
“Look at how big your boobs are? Are you not wearing a bra?”
She made fun of me and they laughed.
Even since then I genuinely hate my boobs.
body image, bullying
It started around puberty.
My voice started to change.
It became very deep.
To the extent that if someone heard my voice,
Without seeing me,
They’d think I was an old man.
It’s happened to me a lot.
The boys were scared of me;
They’d run away from me and yell,
“She’s going to eat us!
Don’t piss her off because she’ll eat you if she’s hungry!”
body image, bullying